I defended my doctoral dissertation on November 30, 2009. It was a particularly stressful time preparing for that moment. My father had passed away earlier that month, and there were days I would question my own fortitude. Some mornings, I would wake up and feel that life pressures were constricting around me. It didn’t even have to be anything significant occurring.
Everything seemed to add to the weight I was already feeling. Flashing images of things I needed to do or hadn’t done would rapidly cascade in my mind, coinciding with internal voices taunting me for inaction. My chest would tighten, my heart would start racing, my head would become cloudy, and I would experience a sensation of losing control. Yes, classic symptoms of an emerging panic attack.
Just a month before this (October 30), Pearl Jam released the single “Just Breathe” from their ninth studio album. I heard it for the first time on the radio during one of those November mornings while driving to work. While I didn’t absorb all the lyrics at the time, I was swept in by that soft, calming melody and that reminder to just breathe.
Breathing is one thing we do naturally (between approximately 17,000 and 28,000 times a day), yet we rarely consciously think about it, except when we have difficulty doing it. Like when we need to “catch our breath” after physical exertion. Or someone startles us, or we start to panic from worries or fears circulating in our minds. We frequently adopt a passive response to breathing. We are almost shocked when it announces its presence, seemingly out of nowhere.
An empowering fact is that we can take an active role in our breathing. Don’t worry; I’m not adding another thing to your daily to-do list that you need to monitor continuously. However, harnessing the power of breathing and incorporating it into your toolbox of wellness strategies can be life changing. In an unpredictable world where we at times feel tossed around by the uncertainties of life, it is helpful to anchor ourselves with a few effective strategies to help us stay grounded and present.
First, what are the benefits of learning how to breathe with intention? Deep breathing, or diaphragmatic breathing, has been associated with positive outcomes related to anxiety (Banushi et al., 2023), depression (Jerath et al., 2019), stress (Fincham et al., 2023), insomnia (Olyverdi & Isnaini, 2023), pain (Masroor, 2023), hypertension (ka-Yin Yau et al., 2021), and many other key health areas (Meghanathi, Suresh, and Shwetha, 2024). While that may make deep breathing seem like a cure-all for everything, it does signify that learning how to breathe with intention plays a useful role for anyone trying to improve their overall health and wellness.
Of course, learning a few breathing techniques doesn’t make all our life challenges go away. What it does though is help put us in a position where we can more effectively employ our mind/body neural network in navigating those life challenges. Basically, deep breathing helps us be able to move forward rather than being mired in cognitive inertia.
Before I walk you through some simple, effective breathing techniques and some potential applications for practice, let’s talk about what’s going on neurologically when we are stressed.
First of all, stress and accompanying feelings of anxiety aren’t necessarily a bad thing. They serve critical protective roles in keeping us safe. Stress is merely a physiological response to stimuli we find challenging or uncomfortable. Our brain releases chemical hormones to ready the body to act. Heart rate, blood circulation, and blood sugar levels all increase. All systems go. Pretty nifty when we are faced with an immediate danger. Or when we need to get moving on something we have been reluctantly putting off. Or need to be alert and focused to make an important life decision. Not so fun when it becomes an ongoing state of how we experience life.
When everything is copacetic with our internal regulatory system, we naturally ramp up when experiencing stress and then slowly calm down when the real or perceived threat is no longer present. Our autonomic nervous system is comprised of two primary parts: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). Ideally, they work together to help our bodies regulate between times of rest and times we need to be alert and ready for action. The sympathetic nervous system is the side that is activated when there is a perceived threat (think: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn). The parasympathetic nervous system is the side that helps the body relax after a danger has passed by slowing down the heart, relaxing the muscles, and resuming all natural body functions (think rest and digest).
Sometimes, the sympathetic nervous system gets continuously activated, even when no real danger is present. Or it remains activated long after a threat to our well-being has subsided. When we experience frequent or intense stress in the body over a prolonged time period, we call that chronic stress. The list of things that we could be experiencing that are potential antecedents to chronic stress is endless. It could be from past, present, or anticipated future events. It could be one thing we are hyper-focused on or multiple life challenges hitting us all at once. Basically, anything that creates enough uncertainty, doubt, fear, or worry to leave us in a perpetual state of feeling threatened or in danger.
Here is where breathing often becomes our foe rather than our friend. In an effort to protect us in times of perceived danger, our sympathetic nervous system works to quickly get air into our lungs so we can act. That’s great if we are fending off a sabretooth tiger on our sprint to the mailbox to see if we got anything except junk mail (the SNS doesn’t care what you are stressed about). However, if we are just sitting there immobilized in a chair (or lying in bed or pacing in circles in our room) with our thoughts spiraling inside our head, we are taking in a ton of unneeded oxygen.
To make matters worse, another byproduct of a continually activated stress response is we tend to default to shallow breathing (quick intake and release from the chest area). We gotta do something with all that air, right? Unfortunately, that causes all kinds of problems. For starters, since we are quickly exhaling air as soon as it arrives, we are actually getting less oxygen in the places we need it the most for optimal functioning and well-being – our brain, lungs, cells, and bloodstream. This contributes to feeling more fatigued, dizzy, and experiencing brain fog. Second, our muscles tend to tense when we breathe shallowly.
This is why our neck, shoulders, and back can feel tight, and we may experience headaches. Third, shallow breathing actually increases anxiety as we continue to ramp up the SNS making it difficult to relax (or sleep if that is what we were trying to do). Lastly, prolonged shallow breathing during stress leaves us vulnerable to hyperventilation and a panic attack.
So, what does diaphragmatic (deep) breathing do? You guessed it – the exact opposite of all those things. Let’s take a little time then to walk through how to make breathing our friend during times of stress.
Finding the breath
If you are new to focused breathing, it can be helpful to take a few moments to just get familiar with where all this activity is taking place.
• Start by getting your body in a comfortable position. I find it helpful to do this in a seated position with your feet planted squarely on the floor, your back straight, and your shoulders and arms relaxed. You can also do this standing or even lying down; just try not to fall asleep.
• Allow your eyes to close. If you don’t feel comfortable closing your eyes, then at least pick one spot or an object to fix your gaze.
• Just breathe naturally through your nose with your mouth closed.
• Bring your awareness to your abdomen (belly). Take a moment to relax the muscles there and just experience the natural rising and falling going on there. You can imagine the body breathing itself.
• Move your awareness to your chest. As you inhale, notice how your chest rises and your lungs expand.
• Move your awareness to your nostrils. Take in a deeper breath if the air flow feels too subtle.
• Take a few moments to shift your awareness to any of these three areas where breathing is occurring (abdomen, chest, nostrils). No worries if your mind starts poking around in your business. Like asking you why you are doing this, inquiring about dinner plans, or reminding you of something you forgot to do this morning. Just bring yourself back to the present and refocus on the direct experience of the breath.
Okay, easy peasy. Building your friendship with breath is just like any relationship. You have to spend time with it, listen to it, and nurture it. Now on to deep breathing.
Diaphragmatic breathing
Diaphragmatic breathing (also known as deep breathing) is a technique that allows us to intentionally and fully engage our diaphragm (the muscle that sits just below your lungs) in an effort to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). It can take a little practice to learn, but once you build it into “muscle memory” you can use it just about anywhere and anytime. Let’s start with the basics.
• Get into a comfortable position. You know the drill. Feet squarely on the floor, back straight, shoulders slightly back, arms relaxed.
• Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach just below your ribs. This will allow you to be aware of where air is moving through your body.
• Keeping your mouth closed, take a slow, deep breath through your nose.
• Allow your stomach to expand. Imagine your belly as a balloon filling with air. You will know if you are deep breathing if the hand on your stomach rises out further than the one on your chest. This is your diaphragm working. Resist the urge to exhale quickly before your lungs have fully inhaled.
• Now, let out your breath slowly through your nose. As you breathe out, pull your stomach toward your spine. Exhale all the breath in your lungs (imagine the balloon deflating).
If you can, try to do this cycle of breathing five times in a row. Don’t worry if you didn’t get it exactly right the first time; just try again. If you feel tightness in any parts of your body, give it permission to relax for a bit. If you find your mind wandering, just acknowledge it and bring your focus back to your breathing.
There are numerous variations to deep breathing exercises, so sometimes you have to experiment a little and find the one that’s right for you. Just remember, if it doesn’t involve engaging the diaphragm, then it’s not going to help you effectively activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Another great variation is the 4-7-8 breathing technique developed by Andrew Weil at the University of Arizona. I especially like this one because it can help you quickly recenter when you feel you might be moving toward a panic attack.
• Get into a comfortable position.
• Gently place your tongue so that it presses against the back of your top teeth.
• Exhale all the air around your tongue through your open mouth.
• Close your mouth and then inhale through your while counting silently to 4. Remember to engage the diaphragm. Place a hand on your tummy if that helps.
• Now, count to seven while you hold your breath.
• Finally, exhale through your mouth while silently counting to eight. You can even imagine you are blowing out candles and make an “whoosh” sound out loud.
• Repeat this for a total of four breath cycles.
Okay, hopefully, you are excited about developing an ongoing friendship with your breathing and learning how to do it more effectively. Of course, like with anything we want to incorporate into our life and work routine, we have to practice. I recommend taking a few minutes twice each day (when you aren’t experiencing significant stress) to practice focused breathing. Maybe this is when you first get up in the morning, right after your lunch break, or part of your nightly wind-down routine. Not only will daily practice contribute to long-term health benefits, but it will also help strengthen key neural patterns so you can naturally pull it out of your wellness toolbox when you need it. With practice, you can even learn to naturally incorporate a simple breathing technique while in the midst of a stressful conversation without making it look like you are getting ready to start a yoga session.
Application to Strengths Model practice
In terms of Strengths Model practice, the goal of learning how to breathe effectively isn’t just so you will have a handy calming trick. Limping along each day and continuously employing coping strategies while trying to swat away the multitude of stressors that come our way is exhausting. The primary goal of learning how to breathe is to reconnect you with cognitive functions involved in effective decision-making. Acute stress can impact our ability to process information, access working memory, cognitive flexibility, attention, use of empathy, etc.
Chronic stress doubles down on all those things. Basically, stress can take key executive functions offline similar to losing internet access on your phone (let that panic sink in for a bit). Breathing and activating the parasympathetic nervous system helps bring everything back online (Whew!). We now are in a better position to respond and act. Strengths Model practice is about being grounded and intentional versus being unbalanced and reactive. Breathing is key to this because it allows us to better employ the skills we have learned or stay engaged in learning as we are learning new skills.
Here are some potential situations where taking a few minutes to breathe and recenter can be helpful in Strengths Model practice.
1: Starting the workday. How many times do we start the workday dreading what’s to come? Instead, take a few moments to breathe, accept that the day may bring its challenges, and open yourself to the potential opportunities that may arise.
2: Prior to a session. Each interaction you have with a person will impact biochemistry (yours and the other person’s). So, ground yourself first so you are bringing your full, present self to the helping relationship.
3: When you start to feel “triggered” by something said in a session. Often our response is to immediately react to the discomfort we are experiencing. Use breathing to keep us in a calm, centered state so we can respond with empathy and constructive action.
4: Introducing or using any of the Strengths Model tools. Taking a brief moment to breathe before launching into using any tool can help bring to awareness the purpose of using it. It also opens us to mindful listening versus rushing to record information on tools.
5: When you feel the inner voice of judgment. This could be related to something a client is saying or doing or self-criticism.
6: Immediately after a session. Sometimes, we don’t have much time between sessions. However, it is important to take a brief moment to breathe and bring some sense of closure before our next activity.
7. At the end of the workday. Often what can occupy our thoughts on the way home is anything that went wrong throughout the day (or the dread of what might be greeting us when we get home). There are days that we may feel that we have been through the wringer. Breathing can afford us some time to have compassion on ourselves, even if some things didn’t turn out the way we hoped. Breathing can help affirm that we are safe and the person we are still exists. It also might give us the opportunity to acknowledge a few things that did go well and validate our efforts. It can also remind us that tomorrow will be a new day with opportunities to make a difference.
Back in November 2009, breathing helped me get through a difficult time. More importantly, it gave me the opportunity to be present to myself and not just the thoughts swirling through my mind. Breathing didn’t take away those stressors, but it allowed me to recenter and refocus on what I could do at any moment. Even if that was just a small step forward.
Bonus note: If you like songs related to breathing, another great one I like to listen to is “Breathe (2 AM)” by Anna Nalick. She wrote this song during a challenging time in her life. It is about taking a step back, embracing vulnerability, and finding strength in oneself. Good stuff.
